


forget me not || daisuga

by multimilkshake



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boy x boy, Character Death, Dementia, Fluff, Huntington's Disease, M/M, Promises, Romance, Sick Character, Sickfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, chorea Huntington’s disease, daisuga - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:54:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29188137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multimilkshake/pseuds/multimilkshake
Summary: [tw: suicidal thoughts/suicide attempt]Sugawara was sick. Incredibly sick, no cures to speak of. He knew he would die earlier, but he did not dare tell anyone. It didn't matter. When his first symptoms appeared during his third year in High School, he finally came to mind: There was only a few years left for him.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	forget me not || daisuga

Sugawara Koushi was positivity in person. He was the right one to call when you were down and he was the one to give the best advice on anything you could ask for. His bright smile lit up the room and his soft words lifted the mood immediately. 

He also was an admirable High School senior at Karasuno High School and an amazing setter. Everything was perfect. His life, his grades, the people he befriended over the two years of High School - or that's what everyone thought. 

The truth was, not everything was perfect. A lot of his life was perfect, but one remarkable thing flipped his life upside down - to the worst. 

Chorea Huntington's Disease, more commonly known as Huntington's Disease or short, HD. He was being diagnosed with it at two years old, after his father died of HD and never told anyone about it, not even his wife. And poor Suga was the one who got the disease from his fathers genes. 

But instead of taking it seriously, he kept it a secret with the thought of living until he was at least 55 years old. He knew symptoms would most likely begin when he was in his thirties or fourties and that he would die about 15 years after that. Maybe less. 

He played around with it, shoved the disease away until it was too late to notice. Too late to notice that the symptoms had already started. 

—

Summer of his senior year. The team was off to a training camp week in Tokyo. While everyone was having their fun outside after practice, Suga had locked himself into a stall of the boys toilets. He was crying and his head was pounding. He often had mood swings like that, but never had it been that extreme, that he didn't want to live anymore. 

The setter rethought his life. Being diagnosed with a deadly disease was the one thing, not noticing that his symptoms started was the other and being replaced by a first year didn't make anything much more bearable. It affected his mental health badly. 

His muffled sobs filled the empty restroom and he pulled up his knees to his chest, pulling them close as he heard someone approaching the room. He knew that person heard his sobs, so he hoped that he was going away, but he didn't. 

It was rather the opposite. The person came closer to his stall, knocked once. Knocked twice. Knocked a third time. No answer. 

Waiting for the knocks to die down, Suga looked at the pair of shoes, that was so familiar to him. 

„Suga, I know you're in there."

It was Daichi. Sawamura Daichi, the one holding the team together in difficult situations. The one being by the setter's side all the years during High School. Of course he knew that it was him crying alone in the restroom. 

„Please...open the door and tell me what is bothering you lately. Your usual happy mood is fading."

The captain's voice was soft, but deep. It was sending shivers down Sugawara's spine, so he unlocked the stall, but did not move from his position. 

Sawamura's broad shoulders blocked the light from getting into the stall and the setter flinched when Daichi tried to comfort him by touching his cheek. 

„Just leave me alone." Suga's voice cracked under the mental pressure and sobs.   
„If you wanted me to leave that badly, why are you holding onto me then?"

Sugawara's fingers were indeed gripping Daichi's white shirt. As much as his mind was telling him he wasn't good enough and that that was the reason he got replace by Kageyama, he didn't want Daichi to leave. Out of all these people, Daichi'd be the one who could stay at his side at all times. 

Maybe that was the reason Suga had liked him that much. Maybe that was the reason he fell for him. He will never know. His mind was too fucked up to even think about it. 

The silver haired boy let himself getting carried to their sleeping room, not saying anything. He just leaned against his best friend and awaited the moment they were on their neighbored futons. 

The setter was exhausted, both mentally and physically. He had dealt with too much lately. His head was softly resting on Daichi's shoulder and his eyes were still closed, as he sat in his lap. 

Soon after he fell completely asleep, finally being able to relax a bit. Or that's what he thought.   
Sugawara was haunted by a nightmare in which all his teammates left him behind because he was not good enough. He was just the second choice. 

Tossing and turning, he woke up, drenched in sweat and clothes sticking to his body. The white light he fell asleep to was gone, instead moonlight dimly lit the room and showed all his teammates sleeping soundly in their futons. 

Koushi went through his silver hair, got up and silently walked out of the room. He didn't know where he was going, but he somehow ended up on the roof of the building they were in.   
It was rather surprising that the building had an emergency staircase from outside to get on or off the roof. Depends where the fire would be. 

So there he was, leaning against the border that stopped him from falling off the roof. The night was warm and the breeze cooled it off just fine, and yet Suga was uncomfortable. 

He looked at the moon, then down over the metal border into darkness. There wasn't such thing as darkness down there, but the depression he fell into dulled his sight. He pinched his eyes, widened them - nothing. 

A feeling inside of him wanted to know what was beyond that darkness, so he stopped thinking and climbed over the handrail, holding onto it with one hand. 

What if...? What if he let go off that handrail and fell into the darkness? His life would be over and so would the disease. He wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. He could live in peace in the afterlife, maybe spend some time with his father who left him too soon. 

The setter smiled, closed his eyes as he lifted one finger. He leaned over a little bit, only being attached to the building with one feet and four fingers. Then three. It was now pretty hard for him to hold his body weight and his ring finger and pinky were cramping. 

„I'm sorry..I can't deal with this anymore.." 

His voice was more like a whisper, as he fully let go of the border. His life flashed in front of his eyes. The second he let go, panic spread inside of him and he rapidly opened his eyes. 

Why did he do this? Did he really want to die?

Before he could hear any clearer he accepted it, but right that moment he stopped. He stopped falling and felt a strong grip on his wrist. 

Sugawara looked up and saw the huge silhouette of no one other than - who else would it be - Daichi. He once again was there when Suga was down again, when he did anything stupid, when he tried killing himself. 

It was a rush when he was being pulled up again, falling onto the cold stone of the roof, right into the warm arms of Daichi.   
By then both of them were a crying mess, but Suga was still pumped with adrenaline. 

His tears rolled down his cheeks faster than he could think and his breath was heavy.   
Daichi on the other hand cried a whole river, with hands and body shaking to the core, holding Suga with a really tight grip. 

„Why would you do that to me, to us, to anyone?!" Sawamura's voice filled the night but he didn't get an answer. The night stayed silent. 

Sugawara stared onto the ground, shaking just as his best friend, eyes wide open and tears falling onto the ground, leaving stains on it. 

„I..I just couldn't anymore. It felt so good to let go, just as I was getting free and that I never had to deal with those bullshit problems again."

The older boy kept avoiding Sawamuras terrified gaze as he tried explaining. 

„What..problems? Please, let me help you or let us help you. You know I have to tell the adults...or at least Takeda-sensei since he's our advisor..."

The captain was just trying to understand, but he also knew that he had responsibilities. He was still in absolute shock and that he, Suga's best friend for two years now, hasn't noticed his bad state before didn't make it any better. 

„Please, don't tell Takeda-sensei or Coach Ukai. Just don't tell anyone. Not your parents, not a teacher - no one. I can't be helped anymore. It's too late."

The setters voice got loud and it made Daichi flinch for a second. 

„What do you mean 'You can't be helped'?! I have to tell someone, that's my responsibility as a good captain. No one gets left behind in their problems. Suga, please, listen to me. I know we can figure it out someho-"

He was being cut off by the other male. 

„You know nothing! You don't know anything about my problems, you don't know anything about me. Just...Just leave me alone Sawamura."

And for the first time in their friendship, Daichi felt like he never actually knew him. 

Also that Sugawara went back to last name basis hurt his feelings, but he couldn't do anything about it. 

He watched as the setter got up and silently walked to the staircase, slowly walking down as he held close to the metal, trying to block out the darkness in front of his eyes. 

Daichi followed him and they went back to bed as if nothing had ever happened, with the exception that they exactly knew that something happened and what happened. 

—

The next morning Daichi and Suga both woke up with a huge headache and dark bags under their eyes, being tired as hell. The team didn't question it, but seeing them all exhausted and avoiding each other, they figured just as much as they needed to know: The captains had fought. 

Neither of them brought up their fight and what happened before and Daichi actually didn't tell their advisors, even though he absolutely didn't have a good feeling about it. He didn't want to risk Suga attempting again, but he had to get behind the reason why the vice-captain wanted to take his own life. 

Sawamura looked at Suga, but the latter avoided his gaze and him as whole. It made Daichi's heart crack a little. 

—

When they practiced Suga put on his usual smile, but this time everyone could see behind that facade. But no matter how well they saw that it was fake, no one had the guts to actually ask him. If their captain couldn't do it, then why would they?

Ukai figured he might wanted to play again, so he switched everyone up and set Suga up as the main setter for the game. It lifted his mood just a little bit, but it didn't change anything about the tension between them.

While he was on court, Daichi and Asahi in his team, he set to them as if nothing had happened, but as he wanted to set to Daichi, yelling »Sawamura!«, his arms set into a completely different direction and the ball went out of the court. 

While his teammates didn't know what happened, Koushi did. It was an uncontrollable motion which was one of the symptoms that his disease started - now for real. 

He was standing in the middle of the court, looking down at his hands, getting lost in his thoughts. 

'My timer is set. Early symptoms lead to severe disease course.' he thought.   
He now had about fifteen years left of his life, not more, maybe less. 

In all that he didn't notice everyone standing around him, looking at him with curious big eyes. 

„Sugawara-senpai, is everything okay?" Hinata's voice was unusually quieter than usual and it just showed that he was worried. Suga couldn't just pop the bomb like that, so he decided to not tell anyone yet. 

He put on his usual flashy smile and nodded. 

„Yes, Hinata-kun, everything is alright."

—

Months passed. Summer became fall, became winter. In three months of training, Suga had showed the uncontrollable motions more often, creasing as time went by. But it didn't stay with just that motion. 

He might've played his teammates, but he couldn't play his best friend - well former best friend, they hadn't talked much outside of what was really necessary. 

Over the months he also developed a much stronger lack of orientation and his eyes moved rather saccadic. 

Daichi noticed that. He noticed a lot about his setter, his vice-captain, his best friend. That last one hurt. It wasn't just that they fought that he noticed a lot about him, he had always noticed stuff about Suga. Small things, small unnecessary things and habits that made his heart flutter. 

If Sawamura didn't know any better, he'd say he was in love, but given the circumstances he refused to believe that. Especially since they started avoiding each other back then in summer. 

He shoved his feelings away and continued looking over to the silver haired boy. He fidgeted his fingers, pinched his eyes and held his head. Sawamura knew he wasn't okay, but Sugawara always avoided him, his questions and his looks. 

It was right before winter break when Sawamura decided to finally speak to him. They both knew it couldn't go on like this but either refused to do it. 

So when they were walking home late from practice again, snow on the streets, cuddled into thick jackets and warm scarves, Daichi approached next to the setter for the first time in months. 

„Suga. We need to talk."

He was totally serious and the deep tone in his voice made the older one flinch right on the spot. 

„If it's another insult on why I'm not talking to you or another pep talk asking me why I let go of that handrail, you can stay silent immediately. I don't want to hear it."

The younger one stopped in his walk and directly looked at him. 

„No. It's neither of that. I just want to know what's happening with you lately. Your eyes move around, your arm does uncontrollable things and your mental state doesn't seem to be the best either. Please just tell me, I'm just trying to help you."

Sugawara stopped as well, a few meters in front of him. 

„No matter what you do. Beg on your knees whatever. I'm not gonna tell you. Why do you even care. It's useless."

His usual light tone shifted deeper, became sadder. 

„Why do I care? Please, as if it isn't that obvious. First, believe it or not, you are my best friend. Second I've known you long enough that I know that you're absolutely not okay and third...."

The captain stopped in his sentence, earning Suga's look. 

„Third. I really like you Suga. No matter how many times you shove me away to a distance, it won't stop me from liking you."

Koushi turned around and started walking again, without saying anything about what just happened. 

„Liking me is useless. You'll only get your heart broken. Sawamura, you deserved someone better than me. Like Michimiya-san."

And with that he continued his way without looking back. Daichi watched him, then his silhouette as he disappeared behind the next corner. 

—

As Sugawara disappeared behind that corner, he hurried home, thoughts full that Daichi actually liked him. After everything he did. 

He knew he was horrible to him and saying that it was useless liking, or loving him was just wrong, but Suga knew that this was the best way to stay on distance with Daichi, even if neither of them wanted to. 

He told his mother that he was home and went into his room directly. Suga hasn't even told his mother and now that he had a break from school, the chances were pretty high that she somehow found it out. It was hard keeping the motions barely noticeable from the team, but his mother - no chance. 

Sugawara grabbed his phone and dialed Daichi, something he hadn't done in months. He waited for him to pick up and after a quick 'hello' he directly said what he was up to. 

„Sawamura, meet me at the parc tonight. 11:30 sharp. Don't be late."

And with that he pressed the red button without letting him answer.   
It was only 7pm, so the silver haired male just dropped his bag and took off his coat and scarf. As he was also buttoning down his shirt, he noticed that he had lost some muscle mass, but fortunately hadn't gone too slim yet. 

Koushi knew: at some point he'd get difficulties to eat, chew, speak - when that happens, he wouldn't be able to hide it anymore. He hated it. He would have to be taken care of by someone and that sucked. If the teachers asked him now where he'd see himself in ten years, his answer would be 'probably dead' for sure. 

—

Night rolled around. Sugawara's mother was asleep and the setter more than ready to sneak out of the house. He was wearing his beige coat and his red scarf again, combined with black boots. 

As he was climbing out of his bedroom window, he made sure to pull it close, but in a way, that he was still able to push it open from outside when he came back home. 

In big steps he headed towards the parc he wanted to meet Daichi at. His right hand pulled out his phone, looking at the time as he was getting closer and closer to the parc, digits shining brightly from the display. It was 11:28. 

The clock turned 30 when he reached the parc. Suga's chocolate brown eyes scanned the surrounding area, but he didn't see anyone. 

How foolish of him to believe Daichi would come when he literally commanded to show up without any context.   
Without really realizing it, a small tear rolled down his cheek until it dropped down his chin into the snow.

His inner storm roared and clouded his mind, unable to recognize or notice anything around him. His head was pulsing and even when he squeezed his eyes shut, nothing got any better. 

Until a very familiar hand touched his shoulder. The disturbing noise went away immediately and Suga looked into Daichi's dark brown eyes. They were so soothing and calm, with just a little bit of fear, but Suga didn't perceive that. He had lost the ability of correctly perceiving other people's (facial) expressions long time ago. 

It took him some time until he fully recognized Daichi in front of him, but the moment he did, he hugged him as tightly as never before, burying his face into Sawamura's warm chest. He didn't care if his tears left stains on his shirt, at the moment, he was just incredibly glad that he had showed up. 

Daichi, on the other hand, was a but startled and surprised when Suga greeted him that way, but he didn't mind, no. He was relieved they finally got to do this again. He wrapped his own, strong arms around the older male and kept him close. 

„Hey, Suga, are you alright?"  
It was more of a whisper than actual speaking, but neither of them were bothered by that. 

„I thought you wouldn't show up anymore..and I thought you weren't because I forced you to come. I know you don't like that."

Sugawara mumbled, his voice being muffled by the fabric. He looked up to Daichi and smiled softly, tears visibly dried on his cheeks. 

It was the first time Daichi had seen him smile, and it was adorable. He ruffled Suga's hair and lifted his chin up just a bit. 

„Why did you want to meet me here?"

„Please don't hate me for not telling you."

„For telling me what?"

„For what I'm about to say."

Koushi took a few steps backwards and buried his hands deep into the pockets of his coat. 

„First, I'm sorry for what I've done to you for the past months. I know you were just trying to help. If it calms you a little, I haven't attempted ever since."

Daichi indeed was glad that Sugawara hadn't tried to kill himself again. He smiled and nodded, waiting for his best friend to continue. 

„Second, please please let us go back to first name basis. I can't keep calling you 'Sawamura' anymore."

The team captain nodded again. 

„Of course, Koushi."

—

Sugawara kept listing up things he wanted to re-do like stop ignoring and avoiding each other and probably a hundred times how sorry he was, to which Sawamura just chuckled and accepted his apologies every time. 

„But, Daichi?"  
„Hm?"  
„There is something I wanted to return to you."

Returning? Daichi didn't possibly know what Suga could be returning to him. He looked at the setter in front of him, tilted his head in curiosity. 

The next moment felt like paradise. It was just for a short second that Suga had his lips pressed onto Daichi's, but it was the best second of their lives. 

„I really like you Dai. And I thought I'd better make you not that attached to me to protect you, but now that I think about it, I wanted to do this before it was too late."

Too late? Now he was talking about all he was doing was too late and Daichi didn't understand a single thing. 

„Too late? Why would anything be too late? You still have plenty of time."

Suga looked to the ground and shook his head. 

„Now comes the part that I'm begging you for not hating me."

The setter connected their lips once again, nit pulling away anytime soon. He felt his one leg giving up, which pulled him back into reality. 

„Dai. I'm sick. All these mood swings, uncontrollable motions and not being able to read other people's emotions by their facial expressions were just mild symptoms for something way bigger. For something severe."

All the happy moments they had together rushed away in Daichi' mind. 

„For something severe? Please, explain. I'm trying to understand."

—

They went to a snowed in bank and leaned against the back of it. After a while Suga spoke up again. 

„HD, ever heard of it?"

Sawamura shook his head. 

„Chorea Huntington's Disease, short HD. It destroys that part of the brain that's responsible for muscle control and general mental functions. Symptoms can appear between the ages 3 and 75, but they most commonly start around the 30s or 40s. I was just unlucky I guess."

He took a deep breath and looked up into the sky full of stars. 

„Early symptoms realistically lead to a more severe disease course. The symptoms get worse until it reached the final state, dementia. After that there's only death. HD patients also have probably 15 or less years after their symptoms have started."

That was a little too much for Daichi. He followed Suga's gaze into the night sky and sighed. 

„So you didn't want to deal with being sick. I understand now. I'm sorry for rubbing it onto you and pressuring you into telling me."

He took the setter's hand which was holding onto the wood. 

„I'm here for you. Whenever you need me, whatever you need - I'm here."

Suga was flustered, but pulled his hand away, holding it close to his own body. 

„And that's exactly why I tried to avoid you. I'll be a person who needs someone who looks after me and who takes care of me. I didn't want to put that on you. I'll most likely be a person in need of nursing only like a hear or two after graduation and I would just stop you from going your way. You have a life without me."

—

It went quiet between them. Suga looked up at the sky again, seeing a star moving. 

„Dai, make a wish. There's a shooting star."

The two teens folded their hands and made a wish, Suga having a slight smile on his lips as he wished. 

—

Soon after that, Daichi escorted him home. Before he could climb into his room again, he pulled his captain in for a kiss. 

„We better be dating, Dai."  
„We are, Koushi."

A smile was on their lips as Suga jumped into his room and closed the window, waving his - now boyfriend - goodbye. 

He took off his coat, scarf and boots, got changed into his pjs and laid down on his bed, cuddling into the warm winter duvets. 

Next thing to do was telling his mom, whether he liked it or not. She deserved to know that his symptoms had started. His mom shouldn't go through a sudden death of her only son just as she did with her husband. 

Sugawara fell asleep pretty quickly, thinking and dreaming about what happened that night. He was glad he got to tell Daichi, because he didn't know if he could pull off ignoring him until graduation. 

In the next morning, he was waken up by his mother. Her kind smile and tired eyes made him feel bad for having to tell her about his symptoms. 

They went to the kitchen together, sat down, prayed and started eating in silence. After a while he stopped eating and put his chopsticks down. 

„Mom, I have something important to tell you." He straight up looked into her blue eyes. 

Sugawara had gotten most of his father's features like the the brown eyes, the mole beside his eye and his height, but facial features like his smile, eye and nose shapes he got from his mother. Just as well as the silver hair. 

„What is it dear? You know, you can tell me everything."

„My symptoms have started a few months ago."

There was no need into talking it pretty because they both knew what that meant. Suga would die before he even reached the 40s mark. 

The only sound now was the ticking of the clock in the background, sometimes louder, sometimes quieter. 

The woman was looking at her son, placing a hand in his cheek. 

„Hey, Koushi. We will get through that. Together, like we always did."

—

Winter break felt like an eternity, but soon, as christmas and new year's was celebrated, a new year rolled along. A new year which was bound to change everything. 

When school started again, Koushi had gone weaker and his sense of orientation fading quicker than before.   
He was wrapped into his usual coat on top of his school uniform, sports bag in his hand while his school bag was hanging over his shoulder. 

He made his way towards the gym, the lights just an unclear spot in distance, unable for Suga to be seen clearly.   
On his last meters to the clubroom he was accompanied by Daichi and they shared a quick kiss. 

„Hey, did you get into the new year well?"

Daichi and him hadn't seen each other since that night in the parc. 

„Yes, I actually told my mom that the symptoms have started. What about you, Dai?"

His boyfriend nodded and a smile lingered on his lips. He really liked the nickname and as they reached the clubroom, Daichi kissed him again, before he opened the door. 

During morning practice, Daichi and Suga were on different sides of the court. They shouts in who they are setting the ball to or calling for the ball were loud and clear and everyone else on the noticed the change in their relationship. They were glad that they weren't fighting anymore. 

After a quick break, they switched teams and they ended up on the same one. As they were on the way to winning, score being 23:20 for their team, and Suga was just about to set the ball, he broke down.   
The muscles in his legs couldn't hold him up anymore. 

Daichi was the first do be next to him, rubbing his back and smiling sadly, while everyone else had absolutely no idea what just happened. 

„I hoped it would last a little longer..." Suga was looking down at the ground, clenching his fists.   
„Come on, I'll carry you to the bench." Daichi's expression was sad too, but he was smiling as he lifted his boyfriend up and carried him to the bench, where the two managers and the adults were looking at the two third years. 

„Coach Ukai, I won't be able to play as setter anymore. I won't be able to play at all."

Their teammates were looking at them in shock, eyes wide.   
„What do you mean you can't play anymore? Wasn't this just collapsing because of a lack of hydration or sleep?" 

Tanaka and Nishinoya asked, oblivious just as everyone else to what Suga actually had. 

The latter shook his head. „I have a disease which will take a severe course. This was one of the symptoms of the disease I have, Hypokinesia. The disease is Huntington's Disease. It affects the part of my brain that's responsible for muscle control. End stage is dementia, after that you die...about fifteen years after the first symptoms. Mine probably already started like at the beginning of the year, I refused to notice it until summer."

The people around him went quiet, just looking at him. 

„I understand Sugawara-san. I'll take you out of the program..." Coach Ukai gritted his teeth and looked down. 

„I will step by at practice though and I will watch all your games. You're not gonna lose if I'm not there."

Suga smiled brightly and chuckled a bit. „You can do this, I know that. Don't worry about me, it's enough that there are already two people worrying to death about my sick ass."

Daichi pulled up an eyebrow but chuckled, glad that Koushi was his usual self. 

„What? I'm serious. You are the reason I'm still alive after all."

Suga said it as if nothing had ever happened. So casual, so normal and yet it hurt. 

„Care to explain? We don't know everything y'know" Tanaka had sat down in front of his senpai, the other boys doing the same. 

Captain and Vice Captain shared a look, the elder one nodding softly. 

„It's fine. They deserve to know."   
„Fine."

„Remember the summer training camp in tokyo? Yeah, well. The disease had gotten me into a bad state of depression, suicidal even. First, Daichi found me crying in the bathroom, later at night, he caught me when I climbed over the border and let go. If it wasn't for him, I would've had taken my life that night. Him catching me was also the reason why we were on such bad terms."

The state of shock came back to their teammates, but also to their advisor and coach. 

„Sawamura-kun, why didn't you tell any of us?" Even though Takeda sounded calm, everyone knew he wasn't. 

„Suga asked me not to. First I was going to, but I decided against it, cause I knew he wouldn't let him be helped."

The gym went quiet.   
„It's fine now. Back then the symptoms have gotten already that bad, that I wasn't able to read other people's expressions. I didn't understand he was trying to help me. I thought he was like super duper mad at me. I'm glad he saved me. I wouldn't have had experienced these few months of my senior year with you very happily."

Now they smiled, sadly, but they smiled. Kiyoko had a few tears in the corner of her eye, as well as Yachi, but they wiped them away. 

The black haired girl looked at her classmate, smiling softly.   
„Daichi, get him on his feet for a second."

Not knowing what her plans were, he did and supported his setter, so that he wouldn't break down again. Meanwhile, the rest of the team got up and hugged Suga, or whatever was closest. 

„You'll be fine Suga. I know that."  
And with that, Kiyoko softly kissed his forehead. 

It was purely out of friendship and it really helped Suga to grow his smile even wider. 

„Thank you, Shimizu."

—

The next few months, Suga showed by at practice every now and then. He walked on crutches until the muscle loss reached his arms too, that's when he switched to a wheelchair that Daichi, Asahi and Kiyoko were mire than happy to push. 

Winter faded into Spring, and in April, when all the Cherry Blossoms were blooming in their wonderful pink color, all the third years were sitting in the big hall in their uniforms, ready to get their graduation papers. 

First to get it was Asahi, then Kiyoko, and lastly Suga and Daichi.   
The two latter headed to the front together, Daichi pushing the wheelchair.   
Just as they arrived, they looked at each other, nodded, and Daichi pulled him up on his feet, one arm around his shoulders and one around Sugas waist. 

They got their papers, standing proudly in the front and bowing to their principal.   
When they got back, everyone applauded for them, tears in their eyes and proud of their classmate. 

After that everything went by quickly. Right after the ceremony, they went to the gym for one last goodbye to their team. 

„Thanks for the last three years. You guys are the reason Karasuno was going to nationals, and you are the reason, why you will head there again. You are strong on your own."

It was an emotional speech Daichi pulled off, crying a bit himself. 

One last time they got to feel the warm embrace of the Karasuno team spirit.   
One last time they got to wish each other luck.   
But it certainly wasn't the last time they would see each other - and they knew that. 

That was their goodbye, to Karasuno High School, Miyagi, Japan. 

—

Two years have passed ever since their graduation. Daichi and Suga were living together in Tokyo, where Daichi was going to College, studying to get into Police Academy, while Suga stayed at home and became a quite popular vlogger on YouTube, telling about his life sith HD, earning some money. 

„Hello and welcome back to my channel, Today I will tell you something very important."

He was talking to the camera on the table in front of him.   
Koushi showed off his hand into the camera, pointing the focus to his ring finger, where a thin ring with a blueish purple gem. 

„I'm getting married! Soon I will be proud to present myself as Sawamura Koushi!  
Let me tell you how he proposed!"

flashback:

„Dai, where are you taking me?" Suga's pouty voice was muffled by his red scarf. He didn't get an answer from his boyfriend, who was pushing the wheelchair through snowed in paths he had blindfolded Koushi's eyes as well. 

„I already told you. This is a surprise. You've always been so impatient, Kou."

After a while Daichi stopped and took off the blindfold.   
„Is that.."  
„The parc where we kissed for the first time? Indeed it is."

Suga looked around. Nothing has changed in the last year. Winter in Miyagi had always been pretty and glittery. 

When he looked back where was originally looking at, he saw Daichi kneeling in the snow with a red velvet box, a small ring popping out of the box. 

„Sugawara Koushi. You are the love of my life and you showed me what true love is. I want to support you and be by your side till death us parts. You encouraged me into Police Academy and you also made me feel better when I was down. So I'm asking you, will you marry me?"

The silver haired young adult had tears in his eyes. Happy tears. 

„If I could walk, I'd jump into your arms right away Dai. Yes, Yes, Yes - a thousand times yes!"

With the bit if power he had in his arms, the previous setter pulled his boyfriend- no, fiancé- down to his level and kissed him, so passionately as if it was their first time kissing. 

Daichi smiled and slowly took off Suga's grey glove, placing the ring on his ring finger. 

„Sawamura Koushi, sounds good huh?"  
„It sure does Dai. I love you."  
„I love you more. Oh and I have a gift for you."

Daichi got a little flower out of a box. It was a dried forget-me-not.   
Even though it had been dried, it's blueish purple color was still there. 

„You told me once that the last state of HD was dementia. With this flower I hope you won't ever forget me."

He handed the small box over to Suga who now had even more tears running down his cheeks. 

„Thank you Daichi. This really means a lot to me. I will never forget you, not over my dead body."

flashback end. 

This proposal was a week ago. Now, the two males were waiting in the office where they'd be officially declared as married on all the documents. They decided against a traditional japanese wedding, knowing damn well that it wasn't necessary. 

After all of that has been done, they went outside, being awaited by a lot of people wanting to celebrate the wedding. 

Present were their whole old team, Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei - even Saeko was there. Their families and friends to keep it short. 

—

Their new lives as husband and husband went on great. Daichi got into and finished Police Academy, now being a 'full ass Cop', as Suga liked to call him. 

But over the years, the 'full ass cop' had to take care of Suga. His state had worsened again and Suga could barely talk, eat, drink or chew. It was a horrible sight to see. 

His body was underweight and his ribs were slightly showing through his skin and Daichi did everything to make him feel better, feel any less pain of a hurting stomach because he hadn't eaten in days. 

It broke Daichi to see him like this, but he wasn't ready to give him up to a hospital. 

Even with working night shifts and working a smaller part-time job to finance the tube food he decided to give to Suga on suggestion of his doctor. 

That's what he had gone through for almost five years.   
That's when he decided to give him to a hospital - also on suggestion of the doctor. 

Daichi gave up his extra jobs, worked locally for the Police during night, visiting his husband at daytime all through visiting times. 

—

One day, another emotionally year had passed, Daichi went to the hospital in the morning. He knocked at the door, stepped in. Smiled at the man that looks so different from the always vivid, seventeen year old Suga. Now he was thirty one. His symptoms had come first fourteen hears ago, leading him into a suicidal state which he fortunately left behind after Daichi saved him all those years ago in that specific night. 

The police officer sat down next to the bed, holding his husbands hand, just like he did every day. It was weak - he was weak. 

Worst state happened sooner as they thought and Suga had been dealing with Dementia for quite ten months. His mind kept forgetting his passion for volleyball, than his time at High School. Sometimes the memories would come back and they would cry together about the good old times, then he'd forget everything again. 

But out of everything he could forget, the only thing he always remembered was Daichi. His beautiful, supportive, high-school-sweetheart husband. 

And in memory of Sawamura Daichi, previous captain of the Karasuno High School boys' Volleyball Club with him, Sugawara Koushi, Vice Captain and official setter of said team, always by his side, he closed his eyes. 

The machines started beeping, the vital line was flat. Daichi had already expected that. He squeezed the pale hand lying loosely on the ugly white hospital bedsheets. 

His sight went blurry, his cheeks wet, at the sight of his husband laying there. Eyes closed, pale skin, bones showing - but smiling. Smiling with that beautiful and natural smile. 

Daichi slowly got up, kissed Suga's head one last time, before he left the hospital room in trance. 

The only thing staying behind was a nicely blooming flower, blueish purple, in a vase. A flower, that he was so familiar of. 

He passed doctors and nurses rushing to that particular hospital room with the white walls and bedsheets.

A place Daichi had seen every single day for the past year, a place where Daichi had seen him every single day. 

And now he wasn't there anymore. They were so aware of that, Suga had known since he was two years old, Daichi had known since their last months in High School and it still didn't feel right with him. 

Because now, he was gone. Gone forever. 

—

[timeskip forward]

People didn't like to talk about death. Daichi was one of these people, until he had met Sugawara Koushi. A first year like him with the same passion for volleyball. 

While him and Asahi, a friend they made in the volleyball club, were afraid of the death, Suga talked about so casually. His eyes wouldn't even pinch a second. 

There was another one who did that. 

„Kou, slow down please." Daichi said. A huge smile lingered on his lips as he ran after the little girl named Kou. 

„Daddy l, Daddy! I'll be first!"

After Suga had passed away, Daichi decided to adopt a newborn. It was a cute little girl who hasn't even had a name yet and in honor of the person he had loved the most, he named her Kou. Kou, just as in Koushi. 

She had the same temperament and way to go trough life as Suga, and it creeped the shit out of the police officer, but it also made him happy. Happy, to have a girl who was just like him by his side. 

Kou was the first one to arrive at the place they headed to. She kneeled down in front of the stone with the name Sawamura Koushi written on it. 

„Hello Daddy! Dad always tells me so much about you! Happy Birthday! Dad always says I am just like you, though I never got to meet you! But that's fine, because I know you are always watching over me, right daddy?"

Daichi watched from a safe distance until his daughter was finished. Then he kneeled down himself, placing a single forget-me-bot into the flower pot while Kou waited a few meters away. She knew her Dad wanted to be alone when they visited the grave. 

„Happy Birthday Koushi. Another year has passed, incredible, huh. I really miss you here. You never got to meet our little girl, Kou. She has gotten just the same temperament you did back then in High School and she really reminds me of you. I know that you're watching and I know that I will get to see you when time is ready. Until then, don't forget me, okay?"

And if said one had been listening, the wind breezed past the adult and it sounded just like it was saying:  
„I'll be up here waiting for you, Dai."

the end.


End file.
